Did you find any of the resources helpful from Part 1. Here are the second half of Amy McCready's tips from this article with some more hopefully helpful resources!
6. Simplify family rules and stay firm. This is one that I need to work on with my little family. My kids who are almost 4 and 2 are getting old enough to understand and old enough to help set some rules. I would love to have a family night and write our rules out along with consequences. Amy encourages that the rules be simple and concise.
Amy hosts a free webinar that gives a little sample of her program and shares the 5 R's of fair and effective consequences. Those 5 R's include:
1. Respectful—you need to be respectful to your child and to yourself. If you can’t deal with the situation right away, wait until you can be calm, collected, and respectful.
2. Related to the misbehavior—Make sure the consequence is related to the behavior so the learning event can take place. For example, if your daughter back talks, you shouldn't discipline her by grounding her from her sleepover.
3. Reasonable in duration—The discipline should be reasonable for the age of the child. McCready recommended taking a puzzle away from a three-year-old for a day and video game privileges away for a week for a teenager.
4. Revealed in advance—You must reveal the rule and the consequence in advance. This gives your child the opportunity to make the choice. This gives them power and control over the situation.
5. Repeat—Have the child repeat the rule back to you. You now know that your child understands the rule and the consequence, and you now have a verbal agreement.
7. Send Time Out to The Side Lines. I am guilty of time out at times, but in all honesty I know it is not very effective. She suggests asking, “What can we do differently next time?” and role play the do-over.
8. Just Say No to Saying No. Find opportunities to say yes and redirect "no's" into a more positive option.
9. Don’t worry, be happy. Be the example you want your kids to see. Think about how your kids might describe you to their friends – would they say you’re fun and lighthearted, or that you’re stressed and bossy? Try changing your energy by simply smiling more. It will help you keep calmer in times of stress, and your kids will notice and keep their behavior more positive, too.
10. Don’t ignore the source of misbehavior. You really should sign up for her free webinar. Again, here is the link, but she suggests 3 reasons as sources of misbehavior: attention, power and control. Find out what is causing the misbehavior.
